Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
primarily so I don't have to HTML all of the paragraph breaks in order to post it on tumblr.

welcome to the caribbean, love.Collapse )
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
blah blah blah, major Teen Wolf spoilers.

no seriously, major Teen Wolf spoilers.Collapse )
feeling: morosemorose
listening to: RPDR (Black Swan… Why It Gotta Be Black?)
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
The TL;DR point of this is that Astrid and I took the angst factor in our RP up to eleven and Scott and Jackson are really frustrating emotionally compromised boys.

no really this is about one of our RPs and it"s probably not of interest to you.Collapse )
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
26 January 2014 @ 04:46 pm
I like how I'm seriously just a flaily, overenthusiastic twenty-something with the emotional control of a six year old who:
  • can't keep her side-blogs on tumblr straight;

  • can't remember her ridiculous tagging systems even though they are actually fairly straightforward;

  • can't remember the order of the alphabet without humming the entire song;

  • sleeps with more than six stuffed animals and calls them research assistants to make it slightly less weird sounding and dress up the fact that she sleeps with more than six stuffed animals (though one of those is a Companion Cube so that's not exactly an animal I guess);

  • has to count her psych meds every couple days to make sure she didn't accidentally skip a dose and forget about it;

  • has lost her phone in her bra and/or her pocket with distressing regularity;

  • has left her phone in the refrigerator more than once (often enough that even though this hasn't happened in a while, she still checks the fridge as one of the first places when she can't find her phone, which as luck would have it ALSO happens with distressing regularity even after investing in a bright pink case for it because this would nominally help stop that happening);

  • suffers from a serious case of being emotionally attached to the semicolon as well as a tendency toward pedantry and being a vindictive little shit-stirrer with a constant need to be right (I'm actually probably more emotionally invested in the semicolon than I am in most of my extended family now that I think about it);

  • and can't even remember to do the things she wants to do because other things are shiny and/or seem more important at the time…
but I've still somehow managed to convince people that they want to keep me around and eventually entrust me with teaching things to undergraduates.

I mean. I don't know how I've done this and I don't understand for a second either how I did it or why it's a thing but I guess that I like it. It's advantageous to me in a lot of ways so I suppose it can stay.
listening to: Doctor Who (School Reunion).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
25 January 2014 @ 12:22 pm
So, I recently found out that a quote I like about the speaker of a poem wanting to get fucked as hard as they hate themself… uh. the version of it that I like best is actually slightly bastardized from the original version of it and in context, it really doesn't mean what I thought it meant. It more means the exact opposite. The quote is actually, "I no longer need you to fuck me as hard as I hated myself" or something like that (it's from Buddy Wakefield). …This is a very silly thing to whine about but it still upsets me greatly.

This post is brought to you by the angsty as fuck Scott/Derek porn that I'm writing for stop_drop_howl today.
feeling: disappointeddisappointed
listening to: Parks and Rec (Media Blitz).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
24 January 2014 @ 05:59 am
Blah. I hate it when my feels about how to work a character into a fic are conflicted and undecided and torn in multiple directions.

The character in question is Kira and the fic in question is the college AU Skittles fic I'm working on where Scott has an eating disorder and relapses really badly and Stiles is pretty aware that things are bad for Scott right now but he's not aware of the full extent how bad things are getting for Scott until Scott comes down with pneumonia and Stiles drags him to the ER which leads to Stiles finding out that no really Scott is in a worse place than he got before the first time he got caught and everything is sad. so, trigger warning for eating disorders.

boop boop.Collapse )
listening to: Futurama (The Beast With A Billion Backs).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
aka: a running tally of things that I want to vocalize on tumblr but can't because I'm taking a break from it (updated as I go today and tomorrow, until about 4:30 PM US EST tomorrow).

this is my design.Collapse )
listening to: Hannibal (Entrée).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
22 January 2014 @ 04:46 am
On the one hand, I want to try to go, "dear livejournal" and talk my feelings out because I just have a lot of them and like 95% of them are fairly awful at the moment.

On the other hand, it's almost five AM and my current emotional state is, "somewhere between Scott McCall in Motel California and NBC Hannibal's Will Graham on any given day period, and if I start sleepwalking through the woods, I'm just going to give up everything" and all I can really think of to say is, "what is emotional stability, we just don't know."

So… I guess the salient point is that I'm taking a tumblr hiatus until probably next Tuesday-ish to just. read and do schoolwork and write and very specifically, I have to work on my rarepair exchange fic and work on an angsty as fuck Scott/Stiles college AU fic that I need to get written not because it's due for anything but because of that obnoxious burning feeling of like, "if I don't write the thing, I'm going to die probably."
feeling: melancholymelancholy
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
So, this isn't normally something that I'd post (because it's the unexpurgated version of a sign up form for the Teen Wolf rarepair fanworks exchange that Astrid, Zani, and I are hosting on tumblr and AO3—my actual sign up form is edited a great deal, this is the word vomit version that I had to clean up before I could submit it… even cleaned up, my sign up form still wound up being ridiculously long but this version is even more so). But someone asked to see it and I've been meaning to post this for a couple of days now but haven't gotten around to it whoops. until now.

And I would've done it sooner tonight but I got distracted by making up Star Trek/Teen Wolf headcanons in which Scott is half-human, half-Vulcan, Allison got recruited to Section 31, Derek is half-Romulan and half-Klingon and a space pirate, Lydia is half-Vulcan and half-Betazoid, Jennifer is a Cardassian and… yeah sure whatever they're over here.

Anyway, if you want to know more than you ever wanted to know about my shipping preferences (vis a vis Teen Wolf anyway) and my kinks, then by all means, enjoy this post.

U is for ukeleles!!Collapse )
feeling: sleepysleepy
listening to: Spongebob (FUN).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
TL;DR summary of this post: I want to take part in a Teen Wolf Secret Santa fanwork exchange thing but the two I've found so far aren't really doing it for me for various reasons so I'm thinking about just running one of my own and this is probably a really terrible idea and someone should tell me not to do it. Or tell me to go through with it. Influence my decision making process here.

So, I really want to take part in a Teen Wolf Secret Santa fanwork exchange… but I've found two so far and neither of them really do it for me?

One of them is the Teen Wolf Holidays exchange being run on LJ, and it's a Stiles-free exchange, meaning that Stiles isn't allowed to be a main character in the fic or part of any of the pairings in the fic or the focus of the fic in any way. And like. I understand where the mods are coming from with that in wanting to have a Stiles-free exchange? Like, Stiles is easily the single most popular character in the Teen Wolf fandom and I made a tumblr post about him last week where I compared him to the Apple app store and I don't really think that's a bad comparison here. Because any single kink or trope that you could possibly want? There's a Stiles for that.

when will I ever learn to shut up? we just don"t know.Collapse )
feeling: mischievousmischievous
listening to: CTAC 600: Communication Inquiry.
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
…so, I started writing this as a tumblr post for a friend who wanted an explanation of what the word, "queer" means. then tumblr decided to be a pain in my ass about posting the thing and started giving me all kinds of, "post cannot be empty" errors because apparently, my post was too long and tumblr objected. Grumps grumps grumps, this makes me feel angry, heavy aggravated sighing, ETC.

@Khai okay, I'm going to try to be brief and to the point about this, but… we'll see how that goes.

so, "queer" has a lot of potential uses, actually. like I'm not even kidding here, there's a thing in academia called queer theory and queer theory really can't decide what the fuck it is because it originated as a way of basically slashing canonical literary texts*, but it's expanded to cover a lot of different topics and discussions, and one of the many discussions going on within queer theory basically just comes down to, "so wait, what the Hell exactly IS queer theory? and what the Hell do we mean when we use the word 'queer'?" and the only unifying, defining trait of this discussion is that no one can agree with anyone about anything.

that being said, there are a few particular uses of the word, "queer" that are the most common ones out there and the ones you should be the most aware of. The biggest, most popular one of these, and the way that "queer" gets used in a lot of fannish discussions (like… talking about queer characters, queer representation, queer headcanons, etc etc.) is just using "queer" as an umbrella term that means, "this person is not cisgender and/or heterosexual."

…which is, in fairness, a debatable definition because there are some people (in particular, straight trans* women) who get included/forced under the queer umbrella not by their own choice, but by bigots who have decided that these women are queer by default because they're trans*, so… some straight trans* women choose to reclaim the word and that's their right to do so, but others don't and assuming that all straight trans* people are by necessity queer is cissexist, which is why I personally prefer to say, "queer and/or trans*" when talking about these things. there's a slight issue there in that it could come off like I'm saying that trans* people can't consider themselves queer if they want to, but… I haven't really found a more effective way of doing things that also isn't hugely cissexist in that it assumes that straight trans* people are queer by default, so… it's not perfect, but it's what I prefer to do because it's a step up from the accidental cissexism.

I hate my inability to shut up about anything.Collapse )
feeling: annoyedannoyed
listening to: Teen Wolf (Raving).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
26 October 2013 @ 05:09 pm
So, as some of y'all know about me and some of y'all probably don't, I have one particular kink that I would absolutely call bulletproof for me since I love it in basically all of the situations ever and with all of the characters, barring a few scenarios that really squick me and a few ships that I don't want to read period even if the fic is otherwise perfect for my kinks and what I specifically want to read today.

This kink has a lot of names but the general idea of it is most popularly called chubby!kink these days, and it… well, it does exactly what it says on the tin, pretty much (but if you want a longer and more thorough explanation, it is available to you over here).

The whole point of the kink is that one or more of the characters involved in a piece of fic or art is kind of chubby and that the fanwork thinks it's really hot, whether, "kind of chubby" ends up meaning that Dean Winchester breaks his leg but keeps eating like normal and his abs go a little soft because of his eating habits, or that Remus Lupin is noticeably, considerably overweight (often as a side-effect of the Wolfsbane potion) and Sirius Black is super into it and perpetually feeling Remus up, or that Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan retire from the BAU and settle down into domestic bliss and teaching at a local university and over the years, Reid goes from being super-skinny to very noticeably fat, or that Bruce Bogtrotter from Matilda grew up and stayed fat and realized how much he got off on eating entire oversized chocolate cakes, or that for some contrived reason or another, a character is so fat that they're completely immobile without assistance or magic or something, or any number of other situations and scenarios.

And, well… comment fic kink memes are a tried and true, longstanding fandom tradition, they're part of our culture as fans, they bring people together and encourage the creation of some really badass fanworks, they're fun for everyone more often than not, they're generally something that I really like a lot even when they're not for my fandoms or my kinks or whatever, and… basically, I really wanted to do a thing because of reasons so I'm doing a thing. And that thing is this:

explanation of the thing, ground rules and how to play, etc.Collapse )
feeling: excitedexcited
listening to: Community (Interpretive Dance).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.

But anyway… I'm putting up a kink meme tonight, and because I realized that a lot of people probably have no earthly idea what chubby!kink is or what it's all about in the first damn place, I started writing an explanation and a "brief" taxonomy of related kinks and manifestations of chubby!kink.

And because I'm me and I can't shut up to save my fucking life, it got rather long (though still brief by my standards) so in the interests of not boring people to death on the main post (and in the interests of not having to eventually make a separate post for the master list of fills because I'm lazy), I'm putting all the explanatory stuff in a separate post. Namely, this post.

Well. That's about all I have to say for myself, so let's get on with it, huh?

this will be an eeeeverlaaaaasting love, yes it will now~Collapse )
feeling: nerdynerdy
listening to: Teen Wolf (Raving).
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
24 October 2013 @ 05:44 pm
So, like. My parents are perpetually upset that, regardless any of my more achievable career goals and whatnots, I'm still insistent that no really, I'm a writer first and foremost, and I'm going to get my stories and books published someday, and maybe I will even have a fandom of my own at some point and then I'll be really good to them and friendly but still something of a troll and I won't tell my underage fans where Severin Moreau's name came from because it came from Venus In Furs and I don't want to get in trouble for hooking thirteen year olds up with fucking Venus In Furs.

Like, the thing that they keep coming back to is generally something like, "why are you a writer though, why is this a thing that you care about so much, why can't you be more normal, where did we go wrong with you" (which they really don't want me to answer because I could go on for at least an hour and a half about all of the places where they "went wrong" with me but that's beside the point). and I'm just really perpetually confused as to why they keep acting like this is some kind of new development for me? or why they seem to think that it's ever going to go away when it's been a thing that I'm adamantly in love with and that's been necessary to maintaining my mental health since I was a kid and I mean, like, a really young kid too?

blah blah blah talking about myself is my favorite hobby.Collapse )
feeling: ditzyditzy
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
…because I really want to share this with someone but I don't want to post it publicly on tumblr because I want to surprise them with just how much I can make them hate me when I make them all sad about Scott McCall: so. I guess this all starts with the explanation that I'm doing a thing. nominally, it is a porn thing, specifically a porn thing of a Scott/Derek angstysad college AU sort of nature where Scott is a student and Derek's a TA and they have sex at a party.

and the angstysad part here is that Derek is in love with Scott but Scott's not in love with Derek, Scott is kind of just using Derek for sex and validation because it feels like everything in Scott's world is going to Hell right now and everything sucks, and Scott's insecure and needy tonight, and he wants to feel wanted, and he wants validation, and he has a giant pile of issues that have mostly gone unaddressed by anyone because Scott puts other people before himself to a fault and insists that he does not have problems in the first place because he doesn't think his own problems are any kind of important, and Scott really truly hates himself tonight, and Scott just loves everyone so much but only really feels like he’s getting that love back from Stiles and Derek probably doesn't really love Scott but he wants Scott and Scott wants to feel wanted and the fact that Derek wants Scott is enough for tonight because Scott just wants someone to fuck him until he can't feel feelings anymore.

and he knows he's using Derek and using Derek's crush on him for his own benefit without actually planning to give Derek more than a one-night stand, and Scott feels kind of bad about that because he objects to a lot of things that Derek does and a lot of things that Derek chooses to be but he doesn't really hate Derek or anything… but by the same token, Derek uses other people for his own selfish reasons as a matter of course so it's kind of like divine retribution in a way (which Scott doesn't really entirely buy as a valid justification for why he's doing the thing but well, Stiles and Danny aren't immediately around at the moment to tell Scott that sleeping with Derek is a monumentally bad idea no matter what Scott's bullshit justification for doing the thing is so Scott's going through with it).

when the Ann"s away, the mice get perms.Collapse )
feeling: deviousdevious
Kassie got a BA in inventing subtext.
So, last night, I was going to make a whiny, self-indulgent post about how two people stopped subscribing to me on AO3, and I'm pretty sure that this thing happened because I publicly said the thing about not really playing around in the Supernatural fandom sandbox anymore because I have well and truly passed my limit for being able to tolerate the show and the fandom's tendency to wank about everything ever under the fucking sun (like, quoth Annie Edison in Paradigms of Human Memory, "this group is toxic! we fight about fighting about fighting!") and a lot of the really shitty fandom run-ins that I've had in the past year or so made everything about the fandom really bad for my mental health (barring talking with people I trust and really like a lot about Dean's bisexuality and Dean's eating disorder and Dean's mental health issues and the way that Dean just wants someone to collar him and get him on his knees and pet his hair and tell him that he's been a good boy).

how could I forget it? it was the only day.Collapse )
feeling: chipperchipper
listening to: DS9 (In Purgatory's Shadow).